He was standing waiting for her when she came through the arrivals door. Neither of them spoke as she followed him to the car. On the way home she turned the radio on to drown out the silence that hung in the air between them like a storm cloud on the brink of spilling its contents.
The smell of decaying foetus hung in the air about her, she was sure of it. The sweet coppery odour hadbeen clinging to her
since she had changed that last blood-soaked pad in the cramped airport toilet. She thought of the grotty sanitary bins of London that now held the residue ofwhat would have been her
baby, their baby.
“Y’alright, love? You’re lookin’ a bit green around the gills. It’s always the take off that s the worst. I
don’t mind planes meself, but the old tummy still does a bit of a somersault during take-off."
She nodded slowly at the kind-faced woman beside her. She couldn’t deal with questions, not tonight.
The woman reminded her of her Gran and the way she would chat to complete strangers as if they’d been friends forever. She wondered what her Gran would think of her now and blew her nose to stifle the tears that threatened to form in her eyes. It was a trick she had discovered when it first started
happening after her mother died. Crying made him angry and when he was angry, he was rougher.
She pulled out the postcards she had bought at the airport -- Big Ben, the London Eye, Buckingham Palace. It had been her first time out of Ireland and she thought she should bring a keepsake back with her. Now it seemed like such a childish thing to do and she stuffed them back into the bag.
She prayed to a God she didn’t believe in that this would be the end of it, that he would never touch her again. She had often dreamt about telling on him and smashing his Mr-Pillar-of-the-Community image but she couldn’t bear to have everyone know what she’d let him do to her. She didn’ t think anyone
would have believed her anyway.
But something had changed today. She fingered the painkillers next to the sterling in her pocket. She thought of the kind nurse who had held her hand and the blood that still trickled from her body. It all seemed real for the first time as she went through the list of bookings, receipts and people that now bore witness to what had been done to her.
He was standing waiting for her when she came through the arrivals door. Neither of them spoke as she followed him to the car. On the way home she turned the radio on to drown out the silence that hung in the air between them like a storm cloud on the brink of spilling its contents.
“Cup of tea?¿ he asked, as he shut the kitchen door behind them.
“No, I’m going to bed.¿
“Right … well … here’ s a note for school tomorrow,¿ he said, handing her a delicate blue page.
She stared at it. It was from her mother’ s Belvedere Bond notebook. The thoughts of school made her stomach tighten. She was sure they’d all figure out what she had done, that they’d see it in her face. She knew she had to lock this away with all the other secrets.
She turned to walk down the hall.
Sarah?¿ he called after her.
“Yeah?¿
“Night.¿
“Night, Da.¿